New Job

Ok so the new job is going ok. I like my coworkers and everyone I work with. I think we make a great fit and seem to all work well together. I'm actually the "mother hen" of teachers...I can't believe I'm the oldest! It totally SUCKS! But anyway, I'm not with babies (there aren't any) so I've been filling in in the kitchen and music. Next week music goes away and I'm in the 2's...which is fine...I'm SO done with the kitchen duty!

Now, on to more about why I created this thing. I finished another month so I've been on this stuff 2 months now. I don't know how I feel. Nights are REALLY difficult for me and right now I just feel so low. I cannot cry anymore. I don't know if it's the meds (most likely) or what but it takes SO much for me to cry. I get sad but I just can't shed the tears. I've been having moments at work where I get paranoid that people don't like me or talk about me and I just can't handle it. When will this pain end?

Oh and my hubby knows I'm on these meds and he's not happy. He doesn't think they can make me happy. I mean frankly I'm NOT happy but I'm not forever miserable either. I still have weird thoughts and wish sometimes they'd come true but I'm not having as many...if that makes any sense.

If you read this, say a prayer for me.
That's all I've got in me tonight...until next time.

~Amy